The Historic Hartington Hotel

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3/24/2018

Paint naked

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Sometimes you gotta paint naked. Sometimes that's just what it takes to get your plus-1/significant other/spouse/life partner/long-term live-in/lover/ball-&-chain, or whatever you want to call him or her,  to help you in your renovation journey. I mean, lets face it, not everyone shares in the joy of renovating things.  DIY & HGTV channels are NOT the only channels that get watched even in our house, let alone in homes of those who are not addicted to plaster, lathe and hardwood floors.

​Early in or marriage, I realized two very important things; if you want someone (i.e. husband) to help you, it usually works best if you can make it his idea, and 2) whatever project you want help with has to be "the fun side of the island"; It must be more exciting than whatever s/he is currently doing. So, in 2002, when I really wanted some room or another in our tiny Kansas rental repainted, (and at that time, Ben had not yet "drunk the Reno Kool-Aid" and was not nearly as self-motivated to participate in that particular Sunday afternoon project), after asking nicely, demanding somewhat and attempting the silent treatment (NEVER a winner when trying to recruit help for DIY), I got an idea. 

​Keep in mind that at 23, your balance and general fitness are substantially better than anything after 35, I put on my birthday suit, shimmied up a ladder with a paint tray and began to paint. In my memory, I see myself as a cunning Venus with flat abs and a toned butt. I picture my legs tanned (AND shaved above the knee even) and my hair tossed up in a messy-enough-to-look-like-I-don't-care bun. This is how I will forever picture this moment. It is highly likely that this was very much NOT the case, but whatever sort of hot-mess I actually resembled, it didn't take any further asking and I had the very attentive help of my dear husband! (As in, "what football game??") Room painted=happy wife=happy life. 

​Fast forward to two kids later, cellulite, stretch marks, a winter diet primarily sourced from concession stands and much larger windows. Nude anything sounds like a lot of prep work and the need for VERY limited lighting, which is naturally NOT good for painting. Adding ladders sounds like a B-team  Cirque de Soliel performance gone rogue. And, it for sure detracts from the moment if you gotta go get your knee brace and acceptable footwear rounded up. Not to mention that kids (especially little ones) are like sneaky ninjas who just appear out of nowhere, with absolutely ZERO warning. 

​So, although really, truly painting naked may be reserved for the newlyweds or the empty-nesters who have found their second honeymoon, I think the "paint naked" philosophy is still applicable to everyone.  Want your kids to help plant spring flowers? Listen to their music while you plant. Have carpet you need pulled up and need a friend to help? Treat them to pizza & a cold beer while you work. Want your wife to help clean the garage? Clean the house (including the bathrooms!). It's easy really. Give to receive. Be thankful for ANY effort (even if it is far from perfect). NEVER criticize volunteer labor. EVER. Say thanks. A LOT.  And just remember that you will always catch more flies with honey and that bathtubs and sleeper sofas are impossible to lift alone. 

​Happy painting! 


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Remember to be the "Fun Side of the Island" when asking for help!

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    By Erin (aka Mom, Doc, Hey You, Yo)

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